Procrastination comes up a lot with my clients. But it’s not because my clients aren’t getting things done. No! In fact, my clients are some of the most productive, interesting, curious, inventive, and imaginative people ever. They are dreaming big dreams, taking on cool projects, and reinventing their lives! Actually hiring someone to advise you on how to use magic and mundane methods to change your life is a baseline non-procrastinating thing to do!
And yet… they procrastinate sometimes. And know what? SO DO I
Procrastination has really negative connotations. The subtext is laziness and avoidance and not adulting enough. It’s also got a kind of a victim-blaming flavor. “Well, if you didn’t procrastinate so much…” And OK, sometimes we procrastinate because we’re lazy and need a break from being a responsible grownup. Or maybe it’s because we really didn’t want to volunteer for the (insert boring thing here) but got sucked into it and now we’re balking. We’ve all been there. Of course if you are putting off meaningless things that are non-urgent and non-important and don’t bring you satisfaction or joy… well, where’s the problem? Maybe those things are things you SHOULD be putting off.
To assist you with assessing this, please enjoy this nifty task analysis flowchart (I procrastinated on making a real chart for you)…
Is it:
Important? –no–> Urgent? –no–> Satisfying? –no–> Joy-enhancing? –no–> MAYBE RETHINK DOING IT AT ALL
There, now you have a tool for clearing a bunch of crap off your list and gaining more time and energy. You’re welcome!
I’m going to start calling these tasks 4nos, as in “the answer to those four questions is no.” Bonus, since guilt and worry are frequently also 4nos, you can stop worrying about not doing them… which frees up a ton of space for doing things that do tick one or more of those boxes.
For tasks that are important / urgent / satisfying / joy-enhancing — but that you still aren’t accomplishing — well, that’s where things get sticky. In these cases, when we procrastinate it’s because of some deeper subtext. And in order to get past our tendency to procrastinate, we need to take a look at the subtext. Yet, when we self-shame and guilt ourselves, we miss the opportunity to see what’s really going on (self-shame and guilt: the ultimate 4nos).
Here are some of the subtexts that keep us from doing what we want to do:
- Fear of failure — what if it doesn’t work?
- Fear of success — OMG, what if it does?
- Perfectionism — it’s not perfect enough / I’m not perfect enough
- Completionism — it’s not all figured out / I haven’t explored every possible angle/option/possibility
- Feeling unworthy — I don’t deserve this
- Imposter syndrome — I suck / I don’t know enough to do this
- Approval issues — people will judge me / won’t like it / won’t approve
- Authority issues — this is good for me / will help me… but don’t tell me what to do!
- Fear of change — this will make things different and different is scary
- Fear of challenge / pain — this will be hard and hard things are hard!
- Risk to sense of self — is this who I am / want to be?
- Decision paralysis — too many options and I can’t choose
- Overwhelm — it’s all too much!!!
- Logistics issues — I don’t know how to make this happen
- Dependency traps — I can’t do it because something else has to come first / with
- Scale and scope problems — this is a giant epic and not a set of doable tasks
- Priority confusion — how important is this compared to…
- Habit weakness — I can’t make myself do the needed thing on the regular
Wow, right? That’s like a lot (I could keep going too). And remember that, to make things more complex, you can have several subtexts (some naturally seem to overlap) and have different subtexts at different times and for different things. Some of these are DEEP and serious and strike to the heart of you (the first part of the list). Some are maybe less deep, but might be completely invisible to you or that you are too close to troubleshoot (the latter part).
Remember, these are things that KEEP YOU from doing the things you plan to do. If you are feeling insecure / frightened / unworthy and still doing the stuff, well that should be celebrated — good for you! But in the case where it’s stopping you from meeting goals and accomplishing things, identifying the subtext is going to be the first step in getting those things done. From there, you can look as possible solutions.
Some are solved with some useful PM tools (smaller tasks!) while others may require some serious inner work to deal with (and maybe some magic and trickery in the near term to keep you moving while you do that inner work). Don’t discount the tricks! They can get you moving which demonstrates to yourself that you CAN, which can help you untangle the other stuff. Nothing succeeds like success.
Let me give you some examples from my own imperfect life.
Task: Exercise
Why I procrastinate: fear of failure / imposter syndrome / fear of challenge and pain
Ideas: Get a trainer so I feel safe (I won’t hurt myself), trick myself by making exercise a responsibility to someone else (walking the dogs), do things where no one can see (no organized sports!), do the hard work of examining the childhood roots of this particular issue.
Status: I’m walking the dog most days and doing lots of gardening. Still not doing the hardcore stuff, but I’m OK building up slowly. And yeah, the Jungian and I have discussed it.
Task: Newsletter
Why I procrastinate: approval issues (people unsub!) / imposter syndrome (in the guise of writer’s block) / habit weakness
Ideas: Helpful self-talk (people who unsub don’t read me anyway, those who read me WANT to read me), allowing flexibility (I can write about lots of stuff — like procrastination), reinstating habits through practice / sharing blog posts, etc. and trickery! (I turned off unsub notifications so I don’t have to see them in my inbox).
Status: You’re looking at it baby! I sent a copy of this blog posts to a segment of my newsletter readers. Hope you like it!
Task: Garden beds
Why I procrastinate: completionism / decision paralysis / logistics / dependency traps
Ideas: buy a local seed sample pack so I can stop researching all the many varieties of beans (so many beans!), ask the expert neighbors where to put the beds, have the materials delivered, start building and do a little every day
Status: Done and sprouting!
Sometimes your ideas won’t work. And sometimes they do work, but life interferes. Think of the work of figuring out how to do something as part of the work of doing it (you have to start to finish). Try things and if they don’t work, try something else. If keeping your plans a secret to avoid judgement isn’t working, try telling people your plans instead. Maybe you need tough accountability, but maybe you need a cheerleader (hot tip, find someone who can do both). Agree with yourself that your initial offering will only be a first draft… so it’s OK if it’s incomplete or imperfect. Get a mentor to validate that you know what you’re doing and your plans make sense. Try focusing on only one thing at a time so that the rest of your life feels more stable. A trusted friend can help you brainstorm logistics and break down large tasks and untangle knotty dependencies. And maybe some of your friends and family should know nothing about your plans ahead of time. A hard and scary deadline might be just the thing to motivate you or maybe you’re motivated more by an incremental release plan. Yes, it’s trial and error, but the reward for getting it right is that you start doing the things that matter to you.
Once you see procrastination as a mystery to solve, rather than a personal failing or weakness, you open the door to learning more about yourself and how you operate. This can not only help you get shit done, it can help you grow as a person and master your fears and limits.
